New Challenges for 2017

As they say life is about twists and turns. When you have not experienced cancer or really know someone in your life with cancer it is hard to understand, but with social media now you hear from friends of friends someone going through a life changing moment, its hard to be in their shoes.

I never thought that reaching my 40s would be so traumatic, first with Melanoma, and my first ever surgery in a hospital, as a child I have never even broken a bone. Then to discover that skin cancer really is very dangerous, that really shocked me. To get over that and not 3 years later be told that I had Breast Cancer and that I had a 50/50 chance. I mean seriously I had been having mammograms since I was 28 years old, every year without fail so why was it never discovered! It was not found when I lived in the UK and still not found when I moved to the USA. The doctors seemed to think it had been there for at least 8 years, tucked away. So as they say, I was a walking time bomb and just didn't know it.

It really has been a very long road, just not physically but mentally. You read so many stories how women just the same as you with young children, husbands and most of all a happy life, loose their battle and you stop and think, that could be me, but I'm still here, and yes I am very grateful to be here to enjoy my family. I have been spinning my heels for the last few years with so many negative thoughts, going for 6 monthly checks, MRI's and mammograms just getting through each one and hoping all is well, the worry each time takes its toll. I prefer to go to these on my own, as I stress and I just want to do it on my own, that is the way I am. Late 2016 I made the decision no more spinning and I was going back to school, I need to do something I need to learn.

I know cancer changed me, perhaps I needed to change, who knows. Hopefully I am a better person, I take more time now to think about things before I take action. Some say I am very laid back now, but when you are told you only have a 50/50 chance it does make you stop and think.

I have my second chance and I want to do something for me, I want to learn new things and just do it for me. No one knows really how long we have left in the world so its time for me to do what I want to do and try and do it well.

Do People Really Understand

Being hit with cancer has to be one of the hardest things anyone has to cope with but you do get through it. You have the treatment they tell you too, you have the operations and fingers crossed you come through the other side, but what next, people say you have changed and that your not the same. Well of course you are not the same you just lived through something that you wouldnt wish on anyone else, so yes we are different and life will never be the same again, well for me it won't.

It Seems I missed 2013!

It seems I missed a whole year! It was a crazy one, my son was graduating and then I took both my children over to the UK to visit, which was a lot of fun and memories were made.

I went to see the cancer doctor who felt it best that I didn't have a mammogram as it was just too stressful and too much radiation to put into me. So I went for my check up and he said it all looked good and scheduled another check up for September but he told me I have to loose all the weight that I had put on since I started my treatment. Before the cancer I had been working out and got down to the 160s and felt good but as soon as I got the news about the "C" it didn't seem to matter anymore. I realize now I should have tried to carry on working out to keep me fit but I just felt too sick and sorry for myself! So after the doctors I decided that I would get back at it until my next doctors appt in September.

September came and I had lost 30lbs by not eating carbs and had even started going back to Zumba which helped and I was also back in the right frame of mind to do this. The doctor was pleased with my efforts and told me to continue on and I am hoping by April 2014 when my next appt is I will be in the 150s as this is what I want, and I want to do it for me.

Recently one of the Zumba ladies suggested I join them at Jazzercise and I thought why not if these older ladies can do it so can I!!! Well my first class I thought I was going to die as it was such hard work but I loved it and the weight is still coming off.

I know that my life will never be the same but I have to work with what I have an enjoy every moment and live it the best I can.

Life Goes On

So life moves on! Well you try but peole still come to you and ask you questions and then go on to tell you about that they have and what do I think. I dont really think to be honest.
I have take the past 2 years and boxed it up and put it in a box marked do not open!
My challenge at the moment is to get this weight off, thats what I find depressing, if only I could wave that magic wand.
I have read about the right food you should be eating to ward off the C word, so I really want to master eating correctly but I fall off the wagon and then get back on and then fall off lol
I will get control will just take time.
I recently had my mamogram and check up with the cancer doctor who was very pleased nothing showed up and he said to come back in 6 months.

See you soon L

New Year New Start

Well all I can say is what a year! I had my last treatment on October 31st and my medi-port removed November so fingers crossed we are done...

I am having a mammogram done Feb 2012 and I just hope we can move on from this and put it behind us and put it down to a diversion off the path of happiness!

My hair is all grown back. The original color that it was and still curly. Theres me thinking it would come back straight but no lol Got to love curly.

I start working out this week and getting back to it. Its now time for me to take control again, this fat off.

Another Week Down

Another week of Radiation down. All seems to be going ok Boob is a bit red and sore some days but the Doctor gave me some cream... Called UDDER cream seriously. 
When you sit in the waiting room waiting other ladies come in and you sit and wonder what they are in there for. You can tell if its breast as you have a gown on the top. Some just sit there in normal clothes so I thought it would be like their legs!
An old polish woman started talking to me telling me how tied she was and how the chemo hadn't made her hair fall out yet! So said it might not but it might. So I had to ask... What she was in for... So she goes into the whole thing (wish I had not asked now) She said for a couple of years she had trouble doing a pee and went to the doctors who said nothing to worry about. Turns out she has cancer down there and so now she has a catheter and having radiation and chemo to try and shrink the cancer before they decide to operate. I sat there thinking how lucky am I. As much as I have been through, it does seem that there is always someone worse off then you.
I have friends with issues going on and they are scared to tell you anything because they feel its not as bad as the C word. We all have a cross to bare and no matter what each of us have going on its still a problem just because its not hospital worthy or chemo related it still is an issue and they can talk to me about it. Takes my mind off it and I'm not likely to say oh shut up have cancer then you will have to worry, thats just not it. Even if you broke your leg thats  still going to hurt and affect the way you are feeling so if it helps to tell someone with cancer then tell them.
After speaking with the cancer doctor and I am now back on my diet. Since November I've put on 20lbs which it crap so back on the wagon think Ive lost at least 6lbs this week so even better. Ive been out walking with the dogs each morning and bowling and feeling good at the moment. Trouble sleeping at night but thats nothing new, my mind just likes to work overtime.
Well hope everyone else had a good week
Take care 

Two Weeks into Radiation!

Well what can I say! This is my second week and I was feeling OK. As the week as gone on and I'm not sure if its the radiation but my body hurts. Even if someone touches my skin it hurts just to touch. Now this could be the cancer treatment, who knows. On the whole I am OK just tied of this having control of me and my life and my families life. November seems a long way off but least there is a shining light.
The lady at the radiation is lovely, always smiling and happy. Out of all the people I've met through this she is a star, makes my 10 mins of fame a day go smoothly.
I am still working and trying my best, sometimes its hard to type but we get through it and try the best we can.
I'm still bowling each Thursday sometimes its hard but its good to go and just be me, what does get on my "tits" is people keep asking me (are you OK. how you doing, how is it going) it just makes what to say can you just let bowl and forget that I have no hair and my tit is killing me. I know they mean well but this is just what I didn't want and that is the reason I never told anyone, if I had not lost my hair no one would have guessed. As people keep telling me you don't look like you have cancer! Well how you supposed to look...I have two kids I cannot afford to look like I've one foot in the grave. I'm not going anywhere so just leave me to do my thing and struggle on and come out the other side stronger then before, because I will be and I think I will have a different out look.
Being English living in the USA, the amount of people who say don't you miss England. Now let me think! Cold and grey skies, screaming and shouting neighbours. Everyone just nasty and mean. Living here in Florida I am lucky and I love it. Was always my dream and just living where we do makes coming home a joy. See the beach and the sea just makes it all worth while.

Radiation Here We Come!

Last Monday I went for a CT scan (didnt know it at the time) Friday I went to be measured for the start of the Radiation Treatment. The lady was lovely seemed to be always happy and very sweet. The Doctor still gives me the creeps and asks the most bizzare questions defo not sure about him at all. The lady tattooed my book ready for this Monday, they will be there for ever but hey who knows. So I will be going now for 35 days excluding weekends so fingers crossed by March 23rd I will be done. The lady said it would take 10 mins each day. So I have to be there at 11am each day. They were very accommodating and fitted me in. 


I have no idea if this Blood Transfusion worked as I still felt like crap and my bones ache but its defo getting better each day and I did get some Iron Pills to try and help me pick up. 


Now I just need to shift this weight or I will go mad. I need this to shift this lard arse.


Have a good week everyone 

Radiation Here We Come!

Last Monday I went for a CT scan (didnt know it at the time) Friday I went to be measured for the start of the Radiation Treatment. The lady was lovely seemed to be always happy and very sweet. The Doctor still gives me the creeps and asks the most bizzare questions defo not sure about him at all. The lady tattooed my book ready for this Monday, they will be there for ever but hey who knows. So I will be going now for 35 days excluding weekends so fingers crossed by March 23rd I will be done. The lady said it would take 10 mins each day. So I have to be there at 11am each day. They were very accommodating and fitted me in. 


I have no idea if this Blood Transfusion worked as I still felt like crap and my bones ache but its defo getting better each day and I did get some Iron Pills to try and help me pick up. 


Now I just need to shift this weight or I will go mad. I need this to shift this lard arse.


Have a good week everyone 

Last Chemo Has been and gone!

Well since my last chemo its been a bad. Think my body just gave up, I was tied all the time and my body just hurt. I ended up going to the hospital because I had stopped doing all body functions and was getting worried. My bloods were way down and finally this week I gave in and had a blood transfusion. The visit to have the Blood was ok, the nurses were lovely and straight to it. Even ordered me lunch which was a surprise, it was eatable.
I arrived at 9am and was getting the blood at 10am and left sometime after 2pm so was alright.
They said after the bloods I would feel like a million dollars but at the moment it doesn't feel like it right now.
Soon as I'm feeling better I'll be posting more often