I never thought that reaching my 40s would be so traumatic, first with Melanoma, and my first ever surgery in a hospital, as a child I have never even broken a bone. Then to discover that skin cancer really is very dangerous, that really shocked me. To get over that and not 3 years later be told that I had Breast Cancer and that I had a 50/50 chance. I mean seriously I had been having mammograms since I was 28 years old, every year without fail so why was it never discovered! It was not found when I lived in the UK and still not found when I moved to the USA. The doctors seemed to think it had been there for at least 8 years, tucked away. So as they say, I was a walking time bomb and just didn't know it.
It really has been a very long road, just not physically but mentally. You read so many stories how women just the same as you with young children, husbands and most of all a happy life, loose their battle and you stop and think, that could be me, but I'm still here, and yes I am very grateful to be here to enjoy my family. I have been spinning my heels for the last few years with so many negative thoughts, going for 6 monthly checks, MRI's and mammograms just getting through each one and hoping all is well, the worry each time takes its toll. I prefer to go to these on my own, as I stress and I just want to do it on my own, that is the way I am. Late 2016 I made the decision no more spinning and I was going back to school, I need to do something I need to learn.
I know cancer changed me, perhaps I needed to change, who knows. Hopefully I am a better person, I take more time now to think about things before I take action. Some say I am very laid back now, but when you are told you only have a 50/50 chance it does make you stop and think.
I have my second chance and I want to do something for me, I want to learn new things and just do it for me. No one knows really how long we have left in the world so its time for me to do what I want to do and try and do it well.
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